Emotional Cargo

I wish I didn’t know what it is that I know
I’d stop myself from going down a path I never grow
Then I’d never sneer when I see an old photo
I’d never ever wonder who I’d be without the woe

I wish I didn’t know what it is that I know
I’d stop myself from packing all of this emotional cargo
I seem to carry it with me no matter where it is I go
I’d gladly give it to you but there’s no place left to stow

© Delia Ross. 2019

Heart Failure

All my plans haven’t gone away
They’ve really just been delayed

People they fret I can’t explain
They all just sort of strayed

It’s not my style to beg or plead
I sometimes require aid

They all want something from me
I have nothing for trade

Many years spent on this journey
Every direction came a grenade

You tell a different story
That isn’t the life that you portrayed

Why do you get all the glory
While I’m prisoner in this stockade

No need for you to hurry
My heart rotted and decayed

© Delia Ross. 2019

Love Is Always On

It’s the age of constant distraction
Beauty defined by plastic fashion
Such savagery over the next caption
Going to extremes to prove an action
Hate on the menu for us to ration
One kiss you’ll learn he fakes the passion
His love is always on automation
An impeccable liar, the best in the nation
A list of broken souls should be confirmation of his vocation
He’s never been out of rotation
I hope death will be his next vacation

© Delia Ross. 2019

Last Rites

I think I’ve lost my appetite
Please administrator my last rites
Say a prayer or improvise
Say it quick before I die
My breath has ceased, my chest is tight
Love feels like a parasite
My friend she broke to suicide
Now in no one I can confide
But in him I see the light
It feels alot like paradise
If I don’t cool down I might ignite!
It’s possible I might die tonight
Please administrator my last rites
I surrender, there’s no will to fight

© Delia Ross. 2019

Grant me a Pardon

I say goodbye for him
I climb mountains with a broken limb
Battered down and wounded still I can feel
Do all I can to fully disappear
I’ve got him on my mind all the time still
And he’ll never know I was even here –

Attending to his garden
Watching his heart harden
Wishing I were less of a burden
If only he’d grant me a pardon
Please speak to the warden
But he hates me I am certain

© Delia Ross. 2019

Love Like Russian Roulette

His love is like Russian Roulette
For all he’s had and still not found love yet
Under his reign I had many debts
The lost and wounded are his favorite pet’s
Losing you won’t give him any regrets
He’s already forgotten you I bet

His love was like Russian Roulette
It doesn’t matter if they are blond or brunette
He’s not interested in her silhouette
Once he’s hooked you he’ll enjoy a cigarette
Making them cry is his largest asset
The only way to go no contact is to move to Tibet

© Delia Ross. 2019

Picture of a Picture

PICTURE OF A PICTURE by @poeeternal

I have a picture of a picture
It was clear I wasn’t stricter
I have a picture of her picture
He’d still be here if I were richer
It won’t be long & he will ditch her
She’ll have a picture of his picture
Bury her head deep into the scripture
Dreams will cease she’ll be a wisher
With just a picture of their picture
He’s nothing but an old gold digger
I’ve got my finger on the trigger
A heavy hitter he’s a sinner
You better burn his fucking picture
I can hear his fanbase snicker
While they drown away in liquor
And wish they owned these fucking pictures
Maybe I’ll post them all on Twitter
It’s something maybe I’ll consider
When I’m feeling a bit less bitter

© Delia Ross. 2019

This is raw. One year amongst the remains.

I realize now that it has been a year nearly to the day when I went no contact from you. My heart is still broken. But it’s been breaking since the very first time you hurt me. And each time after. And you know the things you did. I’m still trying to process and heal from all the emotional & mental damage you caused.

I still have all these virtual things of our times together, too. I don’t know what to do with them. And I don’t look at them. I don’t listen. But they haunt me. You haunt me. I can’t even look at that girl. I don’t know who she was. I was lost and in hell. You made my life hell and on purpose. See, that’s the part that really gets me. It’s hard to wrap my mind around the fact that you are a sociopath. Others are coming to see.

You nearly destroyed me in those 4 years.

I guess when you think you love a devil, the devil will change. Empaths want to change the world, nurture it, give it love. Tame it. Free it. Love it.

Instead, we find ourselves breaking & changing & becoming lost. No voice, no place of refuge, no safety in our minds.

What an interesting specimen you are though, once I can dissect it all. You are the bottom feeder of hell.

I really don’t think Lu wants you there.

Whatever you are, it’s connected me to who I am. You are a special kind of sick. You gave me Pandora’s Box, I peered inside, I’ve seen the abyss and I know how evil abides. YOU’RE FUCKED.

One day, the evidence surfaces.

And doctors can study your behavior.

I encourage more of your enemies to reach out to me (as they already have). Their privacy will always be respected, but not yours.

Their support has been so appreciated.

Damn, 1 year. One fucking year free from you. From the physical you. But the rest of me is still getting on.

Again, thank you for reminding me that evil exist. I see the world differently now. I remember the pure. I am pure. A true Goddess. I had forgotten her. ♡

#survivingabuse #IwillNotBeSilent #nocontact #1yearfree

There must have been a thousand girls…There now must be a thousand ghouls…

If you remember

He took a train to the north
To tie a loose end
And said not to worry
She’s a lady friend

And so was set forth
A river of tears
That he would soon
Apprehend

My freedom is more
Important he said
Your pain is what
I give you instead

The poor little lover
Was always misread
So fame and freedom
Is what he wed

No ring on her finger
No, honeymoon either

If we end-
All ends she pled
While mourning the seasons
When light transcends

Alone in the shadows
Alone in her bed
Sooner or later
Her heart was found dead

If you remember, all ends well
But not for Adele

(c)Delia Ross. 2014